FILL YOUR OWN CUP
being a pinay creative in a traditional family
JANAE ARMAS
filipino american
Is it possible to make others happy while prioritizing your own joy? The Filipino culture deeply values having a positive outlook and making things work. For many Asian families, financial stability and family are paramount. Janae grew up in a religious Filipino household and wanted to live up to her parents' expectations of having a successful career in service of others. As she grew uninspired by jobs that were mom-approved and financially stable, she decided to carve her own path as a sustainable fashion stylist. Janae's natural artistic inclinations have allowed her spirit to flourish and bring positivity to her clients. Now that she tends to her own dreams, she's nurtured a foundation of personal empowerment that threads through her life decisions moving forward.
Q: What is the biggest misconception you’d like to address about your Filipino heritage?
A: I want other Filipinos to understand that it's great that we want to be positive people and that we want to make the best out of a situation. However, I urge people to first do what makes them happy -- aside from what others say, particularly your parents, or what you think you should be doing. Because that really makes a difference. Stop trying to please everyone. Choose yourself and that energy will work its way down.
Q: Tell us about your experience growing up in the Bay Area.
A: I grew up in Daly City. I went to school five minutes away from my house. If you're familiar with Daly City, then you know it’s Filipino town. The school that I went to had a big majority of Filipino students — it felt like 98% of students were Filipino. It was important to my religious parents that I attended a private Catholic school from kindergarten through high school. I grew up in the faith as the youngest of three children. My older sister and brother were more rebellious than I was growing up and that created tension in my family. In response, I took it upon myself to be the “good kid.” That led me to acquire the "disease to please", which I continue to struggle with, but switching careers was a huge step for me to let go of this need to do what other people wanted me to do or expected me to do.
Q: Were you always attracted to style and fashion?
A: I was always interested in the arts. I drew pictures. I did a lot of crafts. My parents actually encouraged it. I remember for Christmas or birthday presents I would get sketchbooks and painting sets. The rule was to make it a hobby but not my life’s work. Art was not a career that was going to put food on the table. I first realized my interest in fashion when I was in high school and watched TV series like Project Runway and America's Next Top Model. I started sketching clothing designs but I still thought of it as a hobby, not a pursuit. At the time, I didn’t consider fashion to be something I could do as a career.
Q: What do your parents do for a living? Did they want you to follow in their footsteps?
A: My dad worked as a lab technician and my mom worked in different administrative roles. They really wanted me to be a nurse, but I disliked the idea of falling into the stereotype. They would have also been happy with me being an accountant. When I graduated with a psychology degree, my mom found out that I could apply for jobs in HR. That field of work is necessary across industries. This meant that it was stable: I could always find a job that would pay well.
I love that as my siblings and I have gotten older, my family have been able to have more honest conversations. We talk a lot about how our childhood has shaped us. My parents shared that the reason they pushed us into these types of "stable" careers was to protect us. They come from a generation of the survivalist mentality. Sometimes they weren’t even able to eat. They did everything they could to protect their kids from those experiences. It turned out that ensuring we each had a job that provided us with the basics we needed for survival was how they showed their love.
Q: Do you feel that you ended up benefiting from their tough love approach in any way?
A: I love that I had a tiger mom. I hated it so much growing up, but in retrospect, I’m extremely thankful. She really taught me to believe in myself and what I am capable of. I tried so many things growing up because my mom pushed me, and I always found a way to excel. Her whole philosophy was that she’s not happy unless you're doing your best. She made you believe so strongly in yourself that you could do your best. You can get an A or you can win that award purely by working hard. The proof is in the pudding. Everything I've tried, I've given my best and yielded those results. When I think about what I've achieved so far, I know that by working hard and being determined I can always succeed.
Q: What was your work experience like before getting into styling?
A: Immediately after college, I went back to working at Nordstrom. I was getting pressure from my parents to get a real job, so I interviewed and was hired for a startup company. After a couple of months I quit without a backup plan because I didn’t like the job. Who does that? I was very young and had no job for three months. Office work came up through an agency, and they got me this interview the next day. I was quickly hired. It was a posture education company, so their purpose was to help people with back problems. It paid well. I was their receptionist and also provided customer support to members. I was listening firsthand to people describe how they got their life back through this posture program. It made me feel good because I was part of something that helps people. My parents always taught me to be in service to others. So I was earning good money and working in a role my parents approved of. But as the years went on I felt like I’d failed. I felt stuck. A very Filipino thing to do is to make a positive out of whatever you have. I told myself, “I’m helping people so I’m going to stay.”
Q: What ultimately led you to believe that what you were doing wasn’t the right fit for you? Have you still found that you’re servicing others in a different way through styling?
A: That was actually something I had to really reconcile with myself in the beginning. I had a hard time making that transition. Styling just seemed like a shallow job. It took me a really long time to come around to the idea that if you do what you love and fill your own cup, the more you're able to give to others. When I come to shoots I love what I'm doing. Happiness is infectious; joy is infectious; positivity is infectious. I feel good about it, because I'm bringing something into their lives personally. My hope is that it trickles down into their other relationships. When you don't have energy and you're not doing something you love, you don’t necessarily feel good to be around. Long-term, I've come to realize that I would love to use my skills as a stylist to do music and film, which have been very powerful conduits for connection. I'm realizing what I really love to do is help connect people to each other and the world around us.
“It took me a really long time to come around to the idea that if you do what you love and fill your own cup, the more you're able to give to others. When I come to shoots I love what I'm doing. Happiness is infectious; joy is infectious; positivity is infectious. I feel good about it, because I'm bringing something into their lives personally. My hope is that it trickles down into their other relationships. ”
Q: Have you met other Filipino women that are in a similar industry through the work that you're doing now?
A: I have. It's amazing. There are more of us, which is great. I haven't necessarily met any Filipino stylists, but I've met Filipino designers. The ones that I know are very like minded. We all deeply care about the environment. They're not as mainstream yet, they're all local folks. I go to entrepreneur events where I meet a lot of different women doing all kinds of things.
Q: How is it discussing your career now with your parents?
A: My parents can see that it actually pays well, and now they understand how much it makes me happy. My mom even said that she could always tell I wasn’t being challenged enough in my other jobs and was bored. She's happy that I get to do something I love, something that really allows me to use the creativity I've always had. My parents are very religious, so she sees it as a way of God shining through me. She says that light shines through me to others. So they're very on board. I’m grateful they came around.
“She's happy that I get to do something I love, something that really allows me to use the creativity I've always had. My parents are very religious, so she sees it as a way of God shining through me. She says that light shines through me to others.”
This photo shoot was sponsored in part by Empress Vintage. Empress Vintage sells high quality vintage clothing & accessories for all genders. We used their SF Showroom located at 1962 Harrison St. at 16th & Harrison for this shoot. Empress Vintage Showroom is available for:
Rentals of clothing & accessories to stylists for film & print
Rental of space for photo/video shoots and pop ups
Personal styling appointments
Private buying appointments
